Musings...

I have had many musings in my life and, as those who know me best might suggest, almost as many muses too.

Clarification through definition:

Muse v
1. to think about something in a deep and serious or dreamy and abstracted way
2. to say something in a thoughtful or questioning way (literary)
3. to gaze at somebody or something thoughtfully or abstractedly (literary)

Muse n
1. somebody who is a source of inspiration for an artist, especially a poet
2. the inspiration that supposedly visits, leaves, and suggests things to an artist, especially a poet
3. the particular gift or talent of an artist, especially a poet

Related:

Muse n
a state of deep thought (literary)

Muse n
in Greek mythology, one of the nine daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, goddess of memory. The Muses inspired and presided over the different creative arts.

I’m really very excited at the moment about this blog, the conversations that are being sparked into (sometimes fiery) existence and the ideas that percolate in my mind when I hear and read what other people have to say. I’m learning a lot about the issues in which I choose to discuss here and, perhaps more importantly, about the way my mind works and what I believe I believe. For example, for years I have ignored the fact that I am extremely sensitive to criticism. Not only have I ignored this fact; I have lied to myself about it. I convinced myself that sensitivity to criticism was one imperfection I did not have. But I do. But I think I can embrace that part of me as I can my greatest strengths, learn from it and become a better person because of it. Because it is something that I can easily improve upon as long as I recognize it and am brave enough to challenge it.

I believe that it is a great characteristic/ability to be able to formulate an opinion and support that opinion with great abandon (and sometimes stubborn resolve) and yet be open and able to reconstruct that opinion without feeling that you are weak or losing something because of it. This is my excuse for having one of my blogs call for a boycott of marriage until gay marriage is legal while another says that maybe we should leave gay marriage up to each unique state. In retrospect, these are probably both ridiculous notions, but I’m glad I suggested them and equally glad I can question them now.

But the truth is, I wonder if I don’t seek two opposing desires. One, to be steadfast in my opinions at all times and all costs. Two, to be completely open to new ideas and have the humility to admit when I am wrong. I guess I’m looking for an appropriate balance or at least the ability to apply that balance at the appropriate time.

Well, I’m not going to do either of those right now. Instead, I’m just going to say how great it is having an outlet for my ideas and my writing. I write because I need to write in order to understand. I think there may be a misconception about writers. People think that they write about what they already understand. But I think we write about what we know and that’s not the same thing. I could never sift through all of the crazy thoughts inside my head without a way to separate them. This may be specific to me, but somehow I think that real writers write because they have to. Maybe the ‘have to’ isn’t for understanding in all cases, but I think it is in most.

What’s more, it’s really great having people interested in what I write and sometimes comment on what they read as well. I ask for other peoples input because it helps to discuss an idea in order to know whether it’s really worth a shit. Perhaps this is do, in part, to a lack of confidence on my part, but the truth is that my confidence grows with each new thing I write and with each new discussion that unfolds. Because ideas may be born out of an individuals single mind, but they don’t truly become alive until they have a discussion (or some other appropriate outlet) in which to nest. And without the voices that feed that discussion, an idea will never grow to its greatest potential.

Thanks for being there on your side of the computer screen to read and to feed, to learn (I hope) and to teach me a thing or two while you’re at it. You are each, friends and strangers alike (and anyone in between), my most inspirational muse.