Post Oscar Thought(s)

So…one quick thought on the Oscar ceremony this year. Traditionally, the last three Oscars presented are Best Actress, Best Actor and Best Picture and in that order. This year, Best Actress was moved to the middle of the show. As far as I know, this was done in order to spread out the big awards, to put a popular award in the middle of the show. But doesn’t this, on some level, lessen the importance of the award? It would be totally different if the Best Actor award was moved as well or if Hollywood wasn’t notoriously disproportionate in gender representation. Now, I don’t believe that there was any intentional sexism involved in the decision to move the award, but in a country that is blatantly disproportional in gender equality and an industry that is particularly disproportional, in a town that claims to be so liberal and progressive, it seems like this was an insensitive and thoughtless choice, and in my opinion the wrong choice, to put the Best Actress award in the middle of the ceremony. Helen Mirren got it right on the red carpet when she pointed out that there are not very many good roles in Hollywood movies for women. In fact, in comparison to the roles for men, this is a gross understatement. Tradition aside, there is a psychology behind the order in which the awards are presented: the most important awards are saved for last. Traditionally, Best Actress goes first and then Best Actor which on a subconscious and psychological level (at the very least) indicates that the Best Actor award is more prestigious than that of Best Actress. Some may argue that setting the Best Actress award apart from the rest makes it special, but not when both tradition and psychology are taken into account and compared to the male version of the award which went just before best picture, the most prestigious award in movies (or so it is generally regarded).

Then there’s the argument for getting rid of the gender divides completely and having only a best performance catergory. I won’t get into that. I will give this link:

http://jezebel.com/360915/do-the-oscars-really-need-a-best-actress-category

Or this more in-depth article:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/feb/26/oscars.gender

And I will say that I think tradition is important to a lot of people and may be a strong enough of an argument against this. But it would send an interesting message if the Oscars decided that a performance is a performance and an actor is and actor and it has nothing to do with gender.

In closing, I don’t feel that moving the Best Actress award was intentional or blatant discrimination on part of the Academy. I know some people involved in the show and on the contrary they are genuinely good, progressive people. And in fact, I think the industry and the Oscars have come a long way since the first awards ceremony in which the only female winner was Janet Gaynor for Best Actress. I mean three women were nominated for best original screenplay this year, another for adapted screenplay and one of them won. But a woman has still never won best director (not surprising considering women only direct about 6% of Hollywood films) and I think only three have even been nominated. And most other roles in film (Cinematography, editing, producing, etc) are still dominated by men. So, we’re not quite there, but heading, maybe, slowly in the right direction… It’s just too bad that it’s in baby steps when there is really the potential and possibility for a much faster path to change. And if Hollywood could find that path, couldn’t they, of all industries out there, inspire the rest of the world to find it as well?

The Oscars

Well, it’s that time of the year and the writer’s strike fell short of derailing this year’s Oscar ceremony so, or so it seems, the show will go on as they say. As someone who follows the Oscars pretty closely every year—if all the while complaining about how terrible the awards really are—I figure I should give my two cents.

First, I went back over the best picture nominees in recent and not so recent years and had to go all the way back to the 1977 ceremony before I found a group of nominees better that this years crop. I rated each years nominees by assigning +1 points to really good or unique nominees (Pulp Fiction) +2 points to classics (Goodfellas) -1 to bad nominees (Crash) -2 to really bad nominees (Titanic) and no points either way to solid nominees, neither here nor there (Good Will Hunting). Granted there were a few films I haven’t seen amongst the many nominees of the last thirty years, but I figure if I haven’t seen it (or worst, haven’t heard of it) it must not be worth any points. I did not take into consideration the best picture winners as this year does not yet have a winner. Although, if Atonement wins I may have to revise this article because that would be on par with Titanic winning in 1998 and would taint this year completely.

To compare, this is how I rated this year’s nominees: There Will Be Blood +2, No Country For Old Men +2, Juno +1, Michael Clayton +1, Atonement -2 = 4. Most years between ’77 and ’08 received a total of 0 or 1. There were a few 3s (mostly early eighties, late 70s) and a few in the negative (mostly in the last 10 years). 1977 featured three of the greatest films of all time: All The President’s Men +2, Network +2, Taxi Driver +2, plus an underrated bio-pic about Woody Guthrie (Bound for Glory +1) and Rocky got a respectable 0.

Obviously we know a lot more about the films of the past than we do about the current nominees but I have a strong feeling that my +2s from this year will be remembered thirty years from now. In addition, I respect the nomination of Juno, which is the kind of film that rarely gets academy recognition. I’ve always felt if the Academy wasn’t ever going to honor comedies, which I consider just as an important film genre as any other, than they should give them their own category. I don’t know how Michael Clayton will survive time. I thank it’s a great film but probably won’t hold up over time in the same way The Verdict has, and they are very similar films. But it could and in thirty years perhaps it will warrant a +1 or even +2. Atonement is one of the worst critically successful films I have seen in a long time. If it wins best picture (like it did the globes – they usually have better taste) it will be the worst best picture winner since Titanic, worse than Crash, Chicago and even Shakespeare in Love (although I must admit I really liked this film at the time). Why it got nominated when such great films were available like I’m Not There (the best film in years), Into the Wild and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, I can only attribute to the fact that the academy is really old and period dramas are like candy for old people.

Notable snubs: I’m Not There: I didn’t expect too many nominees for this little seen and somewhat inaccessible film, but at the very least it deserved screenplay and editing nominations. Into The Wild: Enchantment gets three best song nominations, THREE, and Eddie Vedder gets ZERO. Not to mention no adapted script or best director for Sean Penn. Emile Hirsch wasn’t bad either but I can’t complain about that. No Simpsons Movie for best animated…Yeah, it’s not as good as their early years but come on, it’s the Simpsons for God’s sake. 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days: No best foreign language nod. Was this not eligible or something? The most well reviewed film of the year amongst so many greats. And, of course, Paul Dano, no supporting actor nod. He held his own with Paul Dano for God's sake.

Predictions: Who Will Win/Who Should Win:

Best Picture
Michael Clayton/Juno
Why? Because Michael Clayton is the industry favorite, because No Country and Blood are too gritty for the Academy, because Atonement is terrible, and because a film like Juno has never been honored before.

Best Director
Joel & Ethan for No Country/Julian Schnabel for Diving Bell & The Butterfly
Why? Because the Coens do something very slick and somewhat brave and they are very over do, because Blood hasn’t gotten the same attention as No Country, because Gilroy and Reitman are out of their league and because Diving Bell is the most unique and imaginative film in years.

Best Actor
Daniel Day Lewis/Daniel Day Lewis
Why? Because he’s Daniel Day Lewis and the rest don’t hold a candle.

Best Actress
Julie Christie/Marion Cotillard
Why? Because Christie has been around a long, long time (hasn’t won since ’66) and is actually quite good, because Page is too young, because no one saw The Savages, because Cate comes later and because Marion Cotillard truly kills the toughest part of the bunch.

Supporting Actor
Javier Bardem/Tom Wilkinson
Why? Because of that hairdo (and he’s really good), because the old guys will split the life-time achievement vote, because Phillip Seymour just won a couple years ago and because Wilkinson is over-do and is really very good.


Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett/Cate Blanchett
Because she’s Cate Blanchett and if you saw I’m Not There you couldn’t in your right mind vote for anybody else, because it’s been so long since it came out that Amy Ryan is Gone Baby Gone, because Ruby Dee is too old and Soirse Ronan is too young and neither is any good, because Tilda Swinton deserves an Oscar but not for this and because Cate Blanchett is the best actress in the world.

Original Screenplay
Diablo Cody for Juno/Diablo Cody for Juno
Why? Because this film won’t get any other recognition.

Adapted Screenplay
The Coens for No Country/Ronald Harwood for Diving Bell
Why? Because after all of the critical acclaim No Country will get honored more than any other film despite no best picture win, because nobody cares about Away From Her aside from Julie Christie’s performance, because Atonement is terrible, because the writing in There Will Be Blood is overshadowed by the performances and because the literary poetry of Diving Bell transfers to the screen like a lover’s whisper in your ear.


Best Cinematography
Seamus McGarvey for Atonement/Janusz Kaminski for Diving Bell
Why? Because of that ten-minute shot that proved how much money they spent, because Deakins will split the vote with himself, because There Will Be Blood has been completely overshadowed by No Country and because the Cinematography of Diving Bell engages (and emotionally manipulates) the viewer unlike any film I have ever seen.

Best Foreign Language Film
Die Falscher/Die Falscher
Why? Because I haven’t seen a single one of these films or heard much about them.

Best Documentary Feature
No End In Sight/No End In Sight
Why? Because it’s a great revelation about what caused the greatest cluster-fuck of our time.

Hollywood Job Hunt: Part One of One or More

I’ve decided to log my incessant and seemingly hopeless attempt to get a job. First of all, looking for work in Los Angeles is one of worst experiences of my life so far. Granted, I have not experienced apartheid in Africa, guerilla warfare in Columbia or frozen homeless winters in Moscow, but I imagine this is on par.

A little back-story to begin with. I haven’t actually worked since June of last year. That’s not entirely true; I worked for two and one half weeks on re-shoots (I believe the preferred term is “Additional Photography”) for this years much beloved holiday musical sensation, “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story.” However, two and one half weeks as a PA in this town amounts to very, very little even though we did have a couple very long days. Long nights at Sony aren’t so bad as long as you have beer (we did) and the tenacity to drink it without fear of consequences (we did). I knew that this would probably be the last film job in my life, or certainly for some time to come, so I feared nothing. Which isn’t to say I didn’t do my job and didn’t do it well, but the truth is, in this town, in most positions on a film you can give about sixty percent effort and be just fine (assuming you’re not a complete moron. A complete idiot might have to give 70 – 75%). There are exceptions of course, but let’s face it, being a PA is one of the most brainless jobs I can think of. It’s on par with the guy who cleans jizz off of the walls of the VIP room in seedy (and sometimes fancy) strip clubs. Although, PAs usually have to clean up shit, not jizz, and it’s not off the walls but off of your own self. As a PA in Hollywood, (or anywhere they make films?) you get shat on by everyone.

And here’s the kicker…here I am looking for work in the industry. Anything I can find really, including PA work. I am so completely overqualified to be a PA, it’s ridiculous. And yet, I somehow manage to lower my self-esteem just enough to think it’s all I can get, all I am worth. I moved to the west coast as an experienced AD on independent films and I haven’t AD’d once since I arrived. Partly because I decided I didn’t want to be an AD for a living (they say the life expectancy of a career AD is about 54 years old and I’ve seen enough evidence to support that claim), and party because I fell into a PA job, the money was better than I had ever made, it took little to no effort and most of the time you’re just goofing off and killing time anyway (hm…maybe this is why I can’t find work). The problem is, as a PA, you are made to think you are not good enough to do anything but PA. In fact, you are made to think you aren’t even good enough to PA and that at any moment you will be fired. Or at least degraded enough to want to quit.

This is the problem with Hollywood: everyone thinks that egos are what gets movies made. When really it’s wallets and a lot of hard work. But the wallets do not reward the hard work in a proportionally appropriate way. This is called corporate capitalism. The Hollywood movie industry is capitalism at it’s very worst, mainly because it exploits honest and positive human dreams and corrupts them with greed, ego and eventually leads them to hopeless despair.

So, why am I looking for a job in this industry? To pass the time. To pay the bills. As Jim Morrison once said, “To break on through to the other side.” Why else? Los Angeles is a trap. They lure you here by dangling carrots in front of your face and you end up chasing that carrot like a mule until you have exhausted all hopes, dreams and ambitions and collapse to death, face down in the sand, lost in the desert. When you realize this, it is too late. You are trapped. And for those of us fortunate enough to realize this in time to escape, we also come to the unfortunate realization that we are still dependent upon that from which we are fleeing, in order to break free.

Which is why I am completely incapable at the moment of finding a job. This town is like a dog or a bee. It senses fear (and despair). But it also senses when you want out and has a huge fear of its own—a fear of abandonment. It will do whatever it takes to keep you here. Sometimes that means dangling more carrots in front of you, and sometimes it means giving you nothing, just enough to live, but not enough to afford an escape. Keeps you strong enough to crawl, but too weak to run away.

So, how does one find a job in the LA film industry when the last thing they really want to do is work in the LA film industry? First, you pretend that you want nothing less than to work in the LA film industry. This is where you find out how good of an actor you really are. Don’t forget, this town can sense untruthfulness like Holden Caulfield senses phoniness. And it’s bread into each and every person that may hire you. They may not even know why, but if they sense the tiniest bit of hesitation in your desire to be a part of the mechanism, they will forward your resume straight to the trash bin.

Second, it’s all about who you know (that should probably be “whom you know” but…). You can reply to as many Craig’s List ads as you possibly can, but the LA vultures fear change and are socially paranoid when it comes to hiring new people. They’ll hire an incompetent PA they know, but whom they can tolerate, before they’ll hire an unknown. It doesn’t matter how much experience you have. In fact, experience is worth nothing in comparison to knowing somebody. Experience is intimidating, because the more experiences you have the less they will be able to control you, the less you will stand by and let them shit on you. I’ve resorted to sending a blank page as my resume and writing as a cover letter, “I have no idea what I’m doing, have never done this before, but I will bathe in your urine if that’s what you tell me to, no questions asked.”

Finally, you should probably be a girl. Particularly if you’re trying to be anyone’s assistant. And an attractive one to boot. This is kind of a stereotype, a bit of a cliché, but it’s absolutely true in every circumstance everywhere with no exceptions. It’s like checking one of the minority boxes under the race question when applying to colleges—it just works. Unfortunately, it’s a bit tricky in my case to get a job as a woman (I being a man). Mainly because I have bad ankles and don’t do well in high heels (yeah, I thought that was funny too). I am a skinny guy, which is good in many ways (that’s a hint at all the anorexic women in this town and how our society puts an unhealthy emphasis on thin women but you get the point), but not when it comes to producing the appropriate amount of cleavage. I have learned to except the inevitable fact, I do not have big enough breasts to get a decent job or promotion in Hollywood. It was a sad realization to come to. The flip side of this is, of course, that many, many Hollywood big shots are in fact, gay men. But I’ve never done well with gay men. I don’t think I come across as homophobic exactly, because I actually prefer gay people to straight people sometimes; it’s all a part of my plan to be as individualistic as possible, to avoid trends at all costs. Unfortunately, it’s become popular to be gay or metrosexual, and so goes my plan. But I think I come off as either completely not gay or as a really stuck-up gay, maybe even a self-loathing gay. I’m not sure why this is, but whenever I hang out in overtly gay bars (which I often do), I may get a few looks, but I do not get a lot of verbal attention. Maybe they sense my straightness but I somehow doubt that because I’ve been mistaken for gay too many times (it’s either the mustache or the tight leather pants, not sure which). Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to communicate telepathically that I am straight in hopes to avoid any confusion, but I’m not sure about that because often I am seeking out a complement. I want to be flattered. Women certainly aren’t flattering me with a plethora of complements and attention, that’s for sure.

Okay, well back to the job hunt. I guess I haven’t actually talked much about the details of that. The rejections, the ignored emails even from people I’ve worked with before, that I know well, that know I need work, that I know need PAs. I guess personality goes further than I expected, and perhaps mine is too honest for some, certainly too honest for the cogs in the LA machine who only want their egos lubed and stroked ever so gently. Los Angeles is a big city, but Hollywood is a tiny industry, much too small for someone as derogatory and self-serving as me. Wait a minute…if that’s true, shouldn’t I fit right in?